Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
