Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
