i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
