Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
