AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
