Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
