She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
