break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
