I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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