There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
