the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
They should really pass out barf bags in church
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
