Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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