I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
