Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
ok first of all what the fuck
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
