but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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