I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
