just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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