i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
