I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
