her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
