I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize