Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
