Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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