K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
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Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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