He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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