god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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