Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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