theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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