I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
