i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
