I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I wish I could teleport
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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