That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
