dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Farmville is her only friend.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
