Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
