My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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