So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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