Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
