he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
