i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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