The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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