Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
