you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
