Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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