I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
