I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
