yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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