You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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