The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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