i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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