1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
