they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize