I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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