cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize