Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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