I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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