I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
