So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
