I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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