rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
