When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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