shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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