I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
