Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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