no. you can't hotbox the world.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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