What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
this hospital has no fireball
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
