bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
