i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
