Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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