is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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